SLIM Shaming- Yes, it is a real thing.

I have been slim, pretty much my entire life. You could say it’s in my DNA. You could say I am lucky, but I have also always made a conscious effort to eat properly. This isn’t to say that I don’t partake in a treat here and there and sometimes I do over indulge, but I always end up back where I started. Perhaps, I am vein. However, if it is vanity that motivates me to stay at a target weight and continually stay active as I near fifty, is that such a bad thing?

When I was in elementary school, around grade four I realized that being slim wasn’t always great. People that are full figured or over-weight get picked on for just that, well when you are slim you get picked on for being, “skinny.” Skinny is the opposite of Fat. Being skinny and approaching puberty was upsetting. Being called skinny was even worse. I grew into a very insecure person because of this word, and all that went with it. Common insults: “Knobby” (this is a crack at one’s knees), “When people walk past you they think you are part of the wall you are so flat”, crack at being skinny and having no breasts at an age when some of the more voluptuous girls had a full rack! One that was always especially hurtful because it was delivered in front of a bunch of guys (by my best friend-OUCH). “Char, you have absolutely NO ass!” Not holding a grudge, but it still hurt like hell at the time. I never asked to have no ass- I at one point thought of paying for butt implants because of this crack. Having children took care of my no boob issue and well my knobby knees are part of a slender leg with calves of steel. My spouse has also been slender his entire life and knows the cruelty that words can inflict. His memories include being called, “knobbly knees”, “stick insect” and variations thereof, “If you stand sideways no one can see you.” Motives were not always malicious, but words really do hurt and can have a lasting effect, especially, when piled on top of other childhood problems.

I can go on and on, but really what was said in the past hardly matters in the present, but it does drive me to create a future where I am the healthiest old lady on the block. I am also incredibly annoyed that the shaming of a slim person is not viewed as that. I am passionate about exercise and my over-all fitness. My family and close friends see this and respect my choices. They know that exercising for me is not about losing weight, or being skinny! For me it is about building muscle to keep my extremely fragile back from de-generating. At the age of 28 it was discovered I had a herniated disc, it took away my ability to walk properly (drop-foot), to sleep and be a proper mother to my then 18 month old son Logan. It was by far the worst pain I have had in my life, almost 2 years from start to finish of a pinched sciatic nerve as a result of this disc. Eventually, meditation and continual chiropractic care, and exercise (aqua fit…best thing ever) helped alleviate this. The orthopedic surgeon also let me know that I had degenerative disc disease, and at this point my back was that of an 80 year old woman. This made me the person I am now, I worked through a lot of personal baggage because of this. I re-evaluated my life up to that point.

It is also about taking an active role in keeping my body active, so I can eat some of the things I really enjoy…regularly! I want to eat candy sometimes, and I want to eat things that aren’t always good for me, even though I know I will feel like crap afterwards. There is a lot to be said about the 80/20 rule…around Halloween it is more like a 70/30.

Most importantly, it is about my mental health and well-being. Without exercise, I can’t say for sure whether or not I would have driven into oncoming traffic by now. Everyone has their own history and their own dark clouds. Exercise makes me want to face my unknown future. The drive the exercise endorphins give me allow me to start doing the things I have always wanted to, but always made excuses not to. It gives me an optimism and positive outlook on life, and I just never had that before. My family loves me and they are my world, but you need to make yourself happy, so that you can be present.

So you may look at me and think she is skinny and exercises too much (that’s if you think 30 minutes a day is too much!). What is she trying to prove? You can’t look at someone and know them and what is in their heart or mind. So please do not presume to think that slim shaming is alright because it isn’t, all body shaming is wrong and hurtful often for the same reasons (it makes you feel less as a person).

I have worked incredibly hard since my last child was born, and after each one of them, to be honest. Sometimes I questioned whether it was worth it, and for me, it is. I work hard at myself so I can set a great example for my children, and be a great parent to them. I don’t want to hit menopause and look and feel how a lot of women my age often do.

The what’s the point? The “I am older, but not dead attitude”. Wellbeing for the majority of us is about choice.  I respect people who work hard to look and feel great, whether they are slim or full figured. I respect people who decide not to. Respect yourself and respect how others choose to be.