I have been regularly working out for over a year now, 15 months to be exact. I have become stronger mentally and physically. Do I have more energy? I think so, some days not really. I am, after all a middle aged woman who is in pre-menopause or pretty close to it! I won’t be sharing the dirty details of that at this point in time. One word only, those who get it, will get it. FLOOD.

I was reminded of my past pains and physical limitations right before the long weekend. It was Thursday night and I was off on Friday, I remember planning all of the things I was going to accomplish with my four day weekend. The gardening I was going to get done! Needless to say on Friday morning, while rolling over as my alarm was going off, I felt and heard, snap, crackle and pop in my neck. I knew as soon as I had heard it that it wasn’t good. Most people have experienced it, the neck spasm! The inability to turn your neck without turning your entire body. I called my chiropractor and Andrew drove me. She did what she could to loosen it, but I was in full panic mode.

When I was a pre-teen I had sustained a serious neck injury, one that caused me significant issues as I aged. I had been told at the age of twenty-eight that I had the back of an eighty year old woman. If I was to stand a chance, against the degenerative disc disease, the herniated disc and the neck that was curved in the opposite direction of what it should be, I was going to have to stay active and build my muscle strength so that they could protect my fragile spine. Easier said than done, at that time I was a mother to a two year old and could barely walk 5 minutes without excruciating pain. It had been a year of sciatica caused by my herniated disc, multiple appointments, and the dreaded drop foot. I could barely manage the grocery store, but did it. Everything was a struggle, but I am not going to go into detail. I can tell you that I couldn’t see past my pain, I didn’t realize that it would at some point ease up. Mine lasted a little more than a year and that one year felt like ten. I had macgyvered mirrors on my windshield because I couldn’t do proper shoulder checks. I couldn’t turn my neck, let alone my body. I never took pain killers, but I have to admit that if my Doctor had prescribed them I would have probably become an addict. She did prescribe Tylenol#3, but it didn’t even touch the pain. I went to a Naturopath and spent a shit load of money….I basically wanted something that would allow me to sleep. When you can’t sleep your body does not heal. I was getting maybe 2 hours of sleep a night and working and taking care of a toddler. I was a wreck. It was one of the darkest times in my life. Nothing was working, I reflected and thought what if this isn’t about the physical pain in my body, what if it’s my mind?! This was my lightbulb moment, I went to the library and took out as many books as I could on spiritual healing. What an eye opener this was, it was the author Caroline Myss and her book – “Why People Don’t Heal and How they can.” This is also the time when I started to practice simple mediations. I didn’t feel that I was particularly good at it, but between the book and the meditation I felt hope that I would pull myself out of the darkness. Extreme pain is a serious mind F^%*&^k. 

The pain left me slowly, and I began taking aqua fit classes, within a year I was in the best shape of my life and looked great in a bikini for the first time since I was eighteen! The pain was almost entirely gone and I only had ghost pain from that point forward (for me this was tingling, burning in my right leg-the drop foot leg), it was a reminder of what my body had gone through. With my physical strength came a mental strength I had never known before. My life took on many changes after, I continued aqua fit for almost five years after that. I left an unhappy marriage, did some soul searching, crashed more than a few times before I landed in the happiest time of my life. I am now the mother to five children, and my life is chaos unleashed, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

When I heard the snap, crackle and pop, and felt that pain and discomfort, I was unable to continue my regular workouts. After four days without my routine I could feel the darkness creeping back in. I couldn’t get out of my head and it was a horrible place to find myself once again. My chiropractor was able to ease my discomfort after about four visits, it has been a week since my last visit. I go in two weeks and then I am back to my maintenance visits. She figures I slept with my ear to my shoulder. Apparently, that’s what causes that type of neck strain most of the time.  My neck is a mess, it will never be perfect.  I have summed this event up as a warning to not overdo it, but getting back into my regular workout routine was exactly what I needed to get my mind back on track. So, no more Hard Corps for me at this point in time. Luckily there are so many great workouts out there that I can do. I listen to my body and can still push myself to the next left, but I can do it carefully.

Neck-0, Exercise-10 and my mind well that is a constant work in progress.